Some beginnings are hesitant. Some relationships are rocky. This may be the way this online thing works for me. I have to admit, though I love what technology can do, I often find it frustrating to use. So faced with a problem uploading photos, what did I do but run off and IGNORE the problem.
To be fair, meanwhile I have done a few other things, market stalls and shop orders, Reiki and meditation workshops. There was a Christmas (merry) and a New Year (happy) thrown in mix there too. And slowly, slowly I've been working my way back to this blog. It is my intention, after a request or two to add a cushion tutorial. I'm almost there! If patience is a virtue, you're all saints, ok?
On New Year's Eve, a quarter of one of my molars fell out. I'm a habitual tooth grinder and I joked with one of my meditation friends that there was a message in it all somewhere. As I stared down the dentistry light a couple of days later I realised something quite profound about myself. I brace for the worst. My first instinct is to prepare for the something terrible that is surely about to happen. Yes, ok I was in a dentist chair, but my point is, the actual experience was fine. My perception of it was awful. I was paralysed by my own fear. Why do I do it? Is it enough to acknowledge the fear and release it to break a lifetime of bad habits? I hope so. Here's to living the experience as it happens, without the hang-ups. X